Mirror Mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all?

Did you watch the red-carpet last night before the Emmy awards? I did. Well, it got me thinking. We live in a society where “perfect” body images are everywhere we turn. We are constantly bombarded into thinking that the “perfect body” is being able to fit into a size 0. I have good news for you, body image is more than just size. It’s about how we feel within our own skin; it’s how we hold ourselves when we are standing around unaware of our posture; it’s about our own internal strength.

If, when you encounter a mirror, you can think things like “I’m pretty” or “I’m strong” or “I look damn hot in this bikini (or out of it!),” then you’ve got a healthy, positive body image. But if there’s a nagging little voice in your head constantly throwing confidence-crushing curveballs at you—like “my butt is too big” or “my breasts are too small”—then your body image might need a little work.

Body posture speaks volumes about ailments, discomforts or physical limitations we may have. It can also portray a state of mind, whether we are happy, sad, anxious or afraid. This is the language of our body.

What can we do to improve our Body image?

Fake it till you make it

When it comes to the image you project to others, “the way you use your body is far more important than what it looks like,” says psychiatrist Paul Dobransky, M.D., founder of WomensHappiness.com, a website devoted to relationships. The key is to project confidence. If you stand taller, pull your shoulders back, and stride across the room with purpose, it’s unlikely anyone will be thinking, “Wow, she sure could stand to lose a few.”

Pay a compliment forward

Women can be highly competitive about their bodies: After all, deep down we are flaunting our potential to nab a guy and keep the human race ticking along. (“May the wispiest waist win!”) You could argue, then, that it’s our role in the survival of the species to compare, contrast, and criticize—and, as a result, we’re sometimes less than free with flattery. So when a woman compliments another woman, her words can carry considerably more weight than a man’s.

The point is, the more positive feedback you get from other females about your appearance, the more positive your body image will probably be. The best way to invite compliments? Give some yourself. No need to be disingenuous; I’m not suggesting you start passing out compliments like Halloween candy. But go ahead and tell the woman ahead of you in line at Starbucks that you love her haircut. You’ll feel good for making someone else feel good—and you’ll create the kind of karma that will bring self-esteem-enhancing kudos your way. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose.

Susan Sommers is a Pilates Instructor in NYC specializing in those 50+